A Simple Narcissist Test

So I have people ask me whether they are a narcissist or not, which is interesting because I'm fairly certain an actual narcissist wouldn't even bother asking that question because it means that they might be flawed in some way, but that's beside the point.

If you're looking for the best foolproof way to confirm you are in fact not a narcissist, it's this.

Can you take accountability when you unintentionally hurt someone?

A narcissist can fake a lot of things, but they do not fake accountability.

They can't.

It goes against their programming that I'm better than everyone else.

I'm special.

I deserve to be praised.

If they made a mistake, then those things wouldn't be true anymore.

A true narcissist has no interest in accountability or repair.

Accountability says, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

I certainly didn't intend to hurt you, but I can see how when this happened, you felt abandoned or scared or hurt.

That makes sense.

Here's what I'm going to do differently next time, followed by actual change in behavior.

Now repair is accountability plus a willingness to explore how my behavior impacted you.

Tell me what you're feeling.

Tell me what led you to feel that way.