The Short Report With Sabrina Carpenter | Vogue

Good evening, America.

We interrupt your feed with breaking news.

A famine of beauty has swept the Western Hemisphere in what some are describing as a highly contagious, widespread fashion delusion.

Side effects include bad lighting, flat hair, low standards, and chewy fits.

Live on the scene, our red carpet correspondent, Serena Carpentera, has more.

Serena?

Thanks, Katrina.

As you can see, I'm reporting live from tonight's big premiere, standing in a literal whirlwind of basic.

I've even seen ankle socks worn with Crocs.

That is very disturbing, Serena.

But at least you look incredible.

Oh, stop it.

I'm serious.

You look incredible.

No, you look incredible.

I'm

Okay, you're right.

But enough about me.

Back to today's news.

Coming up, we have updates on government surveillance, bank fraud, monsoons, typhoons, pantaloons, great tunes, and of course, the latest battle of the pop stars.

But first, the weather.

I noticed you're holding an umbrella.

Is it raining?

Let me check.

Nope.

Moving on.

A midwinter drought is sweeping the South, and everyone's thirsty.

Luckily, I know just the trick.

When things get unseasonably hot, I like to get unreasonably hot.

Wow, thank you, Christina, for that fascinating forecast.

Now, speaking of forecasts, the big game is this Sunday and they say one of the teams might just be predicted to win.

With an in-depth look, here is our sports reporter, Regina Harpenter.

Thank you, Katrina.

I'm standing here with a ball player who plays ball.

How do you feel about tomorrow's race?

You mean the game?

Yes.

How quickly are you hoping to finish?

Um, that's not really how it works.

And now, an exclusive sneak peek at my upcoming interview with global pop sensation Sabrina Carpenter from this year's Most Fascinating People special.

Amazing, sweetie.

Yes.

Okay.

Sabrina Carpenter, it is hard to nail you down.

You know, you shouldn't drink that.

It might stunt your growth.

Now that we're here, I have to address the rumors.

You have been accused by the FBI of running a nationwide cult.

Do you deny the allegations?

They're called fans.

It's been said that you coerce them with hypnosis.

Those are pop songs.

That's that me espresso.

See?

Well, that is just a sneak peek of my shocking interview with Sabrina Carpenter.

What a program.

Stay tuned for the full special or pick up Vogue magazine on stands worldwide.

Guys, I'm not gonna lie, it's not looking good for us.

The jacket's a bit stiff, so just...

Sorry, is that your phone?

I'm, this is the worst tasting thing I've ever drank.

See?

Period.